story time

I sat here at my computer with the intent to tell a story... but I can't think of any. So I thought I would tell a joke instead. But as I type this I can't, for the life of me, remember any good ones! (Guess what?... CHICKEN BUTT! Doesn't count, does it?)

Oh! Just thought of a small incident that happened the other day:

It was another one of those days where I just HATE scorpions...like every other day. Except this day was extremely hot. I mean H. O. T. Flaming pit hot. I just got home from work and I'm up in my hot room, taking off my shoes, ready to kick back and, I don't know.. update my blog or something. And then I remembered that I have some ice cream in the freezer downstairs! Happy day!! I jauntily galloped (as jauntily as one can gallop with heat stroke) down the stairs and into the back room. I opened the back door and prepared to step over the threshold and obtain the yummy, cold goodness that is Butter-Pecan ice cream.
It was then that I chose to look down. Much to my surprise and dismay my eyes fell upon the sick, unnatural, evil body of a scorpion! It was just standing there, staring at me with it's nasty little eyes and it's wicked little stinger! I froze. There was nothing I could do! This horrid spawn of Satan caught me off guard and, seeing as I had no shoes on, unarmed.

I shut the back door and walked up to my room...
Butter-Pecanless.


Stupid scorpion

monday night poker

As you may or may not know, every Monday night at the Bull Pen is Texas Hold-em night. So me and a friend decided to randomly go just to see what it's all about. We were having a great time watching the game, chowing down on beer-battered deep-fried goodness, sipping our cokes and grenadine, when all of a great sudden a shouting match broke out! Apparently some dude was caught cheating (and I don't see why this was a big deal seeing as they don't gamble with real money) and the bouncer had to intervene. The big bouncer that looks like Peter Jackson. The one that got stabbed like twice. Being a man of large stature (not Nephi large... more like Buddha large) I thought it quite odd that his weapon of choice was... pepper spray. It was immensely effective, however, in the confusion Peter Jackson forgot how to aim. I was downwind of the infernal pepper spray and got a facefull of the stuff. So today, if you saw me, I was not crying. Or tokin it up.



Now I suppose I should tell the real story... but it's not as entertaining. It's actually quite boring. So maybe I won't tell. (Muahahahahahahahahaaaa)

random thought

I was just thinkin the other day...
If one were to splice crocodile DNA with that of a goldfish (specifically the growth gene), would one end up with an orange croc that grows depending on how big the body of water in which it lives?

Jessica’s Very Secret and HIGHLY PERSONALLY EMBARRASSING DIARY…

I just decided that I'm gonna try to update this blog more often. But there is a problem. You see, nothing happens to me! But I'll give you a run down of my day anyway:

I got up, joined the legeons of the mindless zombies (facebook), mailed like 8 movies, went to work, got my honey mustard chicken wings (mmmmmm!), came home and here I sit.

Actually, my day is far from over! I get to go to a nursing home at 11pm with a friend and scare the pants off ourselves till 3!

And that's about it!

p.s. you should be proud of me! I haven't watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog in like 3 days! (but I listened to the soundtrack yesterday heehee)

wish me luck!

Eureka!! (sp?)

It's finished! I've been working on the "frame my future" scholarship for a while and this is the finished product! I hope whoever pics the winners thinks this is worth $1,000 cause I sure need it!

These are samples of previous winners

http://www.diplomaframe.com/pages/734_entry_piece_examples.cfm



And now... here's mine (with the description I'm gonna send in)!

I’ve always known that I was meant to do something great. That I would be immortalized in history books all around the world. My children’s children will be taught of my great accomplishment, or discovery, or invention. I just had a little trouble deciding what that great accomplishment would be. First, I wanted to be a writer. Well, as it turns out, English wasn’t my best subject in school. So I decided to become an archaeologist instead but I realized archaeology wasn’t at all like Indiana Jones made it out to be. Then I decided to get my creative juices flowing and become a graphic designer, quickly coming to the conclusion that classes and deadlines take all the fun out of art. I considered everything from technical theater and photography to culinary arts and special effects make-up, eventually deciding that each one would be better as a hobby than an actual career. I was in an educational hiatus.
And then I moved. My grandmother was getting on in years and needed someone around the house to help out a bit. Within a month of my moving in she was hospitalized with a bacterial skin infection called Cellulitis. If I had not been living in her house my grandmother would not have been able to leave the hospital for at least a month. I was able to apply ointment to the infected area and change bandages for her daily. Everyone told me I should become a nurse. I would reply with a shrug and say something along the lines of not being smart enough for a job like that. But the seed was planted.
About a year later my grandmother’s Cellulitis flared up again. Another trip to the hospital. More ointment applying. More bandage changing. But this time it was different. I started imagining myself actually doing this for a living. Helping people. Making a difference in someone’s life. My mother is a nurse and I was able to see the difference she makes in others lives and the satisfaction she receives from her work. Slowly but surely the decision was made. I am going to be a nurse like mom.
The medical symbols in my illustration are just a few of the places in the world that have reported critical nursing shortages, including South America, Western Europe, China, Australia, South Africa, Canada, the United States, and Siberia. I feel I would have the ability to help areas in need if I were to receive the proper education. This is how I “frame my future”.
The road will be hard, but I am ready. The journey will be long, but it will be worth it. I believe that with the proper education I will be great. And I am not afraid.

random comment of the day

"Dreams are easy to achieve if hope is all I'm hoping to be"
- Penny's Song form Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

I have the songs running through my head 24/7! Sheesh!

random comment of the day

Home is where the heart is


So your real home's in your chest!


- Captain Hammer (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)
(It's funny! Watch it!)